The real world of motorcycling

The real world of motorcycling

Monday, 26 September 2011

Scooter Diaries November 2011

Bike; Yamaha X-Max 250
Rider Nick Gibbs



So last week I took my pregnant wife to her hospital scan on the back of the scooter. I was amazed she agreed to it, but the sheer time-saving ease pushed other concerns to one side. We were going to Guys and St Thomas’s on the banks of the Thames opposite the Houses of Parliament, meaning a rush-hour bus and tube ride. She increasingly loathes these as she gets bigger, but both of us had to get to work straight after.

So it was agreed, but only after the Safety Speech. She normally loves going pillion on scoot, partly because the broad seat of the X-max is so much more comfortable than my Kawasaki. That also meant loads of room for her bump (which still fits under her motorbike jacket), but this time the pre-ride chat came with a sterner warning on top of the old rules.

She’s quite pregnant – 30 weeks – with a prominent bump. So while skiing when the baby was still plum-sized was less of a risk because of the extra protection given by her body, a heavy fall at this point could be disastrous. Something I was made fully aware of.
Thing is, riding tentatively can be as bad for control as riding recklessly. The Yamaha is quite stable at low speeds, something similarly engined motorbikes can’t claim, but the fear of the consequences of crashing was sapping my ability to make quick judgements. At one point riding through Brixton she even asked if I was turning left because I wasn’t filtering as I’d normally do! After the remaining four out of the five miles were a little better. I managed to block out the nightmare scenario and fill my head with constant and conscious analysis of the cycles, taxis, vans, psycho pedestrians and buses ahead of me. A little light filtering later and we were at St Thomas’s in plenty of time for the scan appointment.
And, praise be, there just outside the entrance was a portion of the wide pavement given over to motorbike parking. This got me thinking about transport to the hospital when the big day arrives.
The car is an obvious choice, but there are problems. Between us and St Thomas’s are two big traffic bottlenecks. And when you finally get there, it’s £2.50 an hour to park. So what about the scoot?

It’d shave the dash time by half, you can park outside the front and, if the worst happens, there’s a video on YouTube from the Dominican Republic of a woman giving birth on the back of a motorbike taxi. Okay, maybe I won’t show her this. The bit with the blood on the back wheel will plant the wrong connections in her mind.

I will point out however that motorcycle ambulances are routinely used to ferry woman in labour to hospitals throughout Sub Saharan Africa. Old school scramblers are given a side-car bed for quick and effective transport, thus dramatically improving survival rates for the mothers and their babies.

But the best argument has to be from a glorious bit of internet wisdom. A pregnant woman posts she’s stopped riding her motorbike after an acquaintance said her premature birth had been caused by the vibrations from a ride-on lawnmower. First sign of labour, put her on the scoot and we’ll be in and out of St Thomas’s in no time!
Who am I kidding. We’re going in a taxi.


What I’ve learnt

If you worry too much, cracks develop in the riding skills

My bike licence helps me be a better father-to-be

That it’d be really cool to have been born on the back of a motorbike

Facts
Start mileage: 16
Current mileage: 1823
Costs this month: £9.38
Average mpg: 68.3mpg

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